The Camping Fiasco

While I am attempting to put all my logic into play, let me be very honest and clear that this is absolutely written from the standpoint of emotion.  I often let my emotions get the better of me. Let them somewhat control me. So I have been trying to get that under control with this situation and give myself time to respond.  But there are some things that will always be strongly tied to emotions.

Camp Jo-Ota is like a home to me.  I have a history there. When I was young and first went to camp as a camper it was scary and new.  I probably cried and was really annoying to my counselors.  I remember very little about that experience aside from a few friends and names that have stayed with me.  People who I was later able to reconnect with and that experience at camp was what brought that connection.  

When I was in middle school I started going to camp with a director named Dave Jones. This camp carried me all the way through graduating high school and at it I formed some of my most significant friendships of my formative years. More importantly than those friendships at camp I was introduced to the love that the Lord and His people have to offer. This laid an important foundation so that when I was in college and my friend Katie Stetson told me that the story of Jesus was not a story but a Truth and that Jesus died for me personally all out of love,  I had the capacity to believe it because I had experienced that love at camp.  You see, I didn’t really have a STRONG local church to back up and support what was happening at camp. 

In high school I was a counselor for a few years for a younger kiddos camp.  That laid the foundation for me to step into a counseling role when I graduated from college and moved home.  Ben Mulford, perhaps one of the most influential people in my life to date, invited me to join Metamorphosis.  Being a counselor there and the people I met and the relationships I formed and the things I learned and was able to teach altered the course of my life.  I also realized quite quickly that while counselors were there to aid the campers, the Lord was still there to meet with ALL of us—camper or counselor.

After a few years I switched to helping Carrie Brandriff who has a passion for camp that pours out of her with a 3/4/5 grade camp.  The next year that became my camp.  So I now direct Faith Treasure Hunt Camp and picked up FROG camp for the little bitties just this past summer. Directing FTH has been the way in the past few years that the Lord has stretched me and challenged me and continued to meet me where I am.  And again, He showed up for me.  He brought new friendships into my life.  As an adult it is kind of rare to make new friends.  Actual friends who you can count on and love and be loved by.  Joey, Madison, Amanda, Andy Tilsworth, John Akins, Mikenzie Beckley and Christian Finck are all actual friends—not just camp friends-- that I now have.  Along with several others.  Their impact in my life is immeasurable.  

I have been a camper, a counselor, a director and an observer.  So, just to be clear I have a strong emotional connection to Jo-Ota, as I am sure many people do to other camps.  I can not imagine that place, that location not being Camp Jo-Ota. I am firmly aware that the Lord can meet us anywhere.  I myself have encountered the Lord in the middle of the grocery store in a way that brought me to my knees. But when you have a place already, why walk away from it? Are improvements needed? Absolutely. But what about the millions of dollars that have already been spent on things like a new dining hall, cabin renovations and new signs? 

Furthermore, if this honest to goodness has been a conversation that has been ongoing for two plus years then the camp board and those involved in this decision have done a huge injustice to the camps, the people serving them and the churches supporting them. You want the local churches to be strong and support the camping ministry? Great! What about the ones who already are? The ones who have spent their congregation’s money to help with improvements, buy new signs, donate money to the building fund for the new dining hall, provided manual labor on the renovations? What about them? You basically just let them pour money into a place to help you prepare it to be sold. That is unfair to them when they chose that specific project as a way to help the place they view as a sanctuary. Why were those projects not put on hold and only necessary projects completed while this “review” process was going on? 

And here is possibly one of the biggest things that is not sitting well with me. As is obvious by my reaction and many others, camp is a place people are emotionally connected to. If ALL camping moves to Central Methodist (as I understand is the plan—which don’t get me started on small children in dorms on a college campus) then middle school to high school aged children will be spending at least one week of their summer each year at Central Methodist (CMU). Arguably the most emotional week of their summer. Thus forcing an emotional connection with that place. So when it comes time to pick a college that will steer their future where do you think is going to be one of the first places they thing of? You got it. CMU. It took me all of ten minutes to come up with that conclusion and scenario, so please don’t tell me the camp board has not at least considered that and the positive impact that would have for the beloved university. Is CMU a bad school? Absolutely not! It is a great place to get an education. But I fear people will choose it based simply on an emotional connection that they will find is no longer prevalent once college begins.

This past summer at FTH camp I had the privilege to see nine (yes, NINE!!) 3/4/5 grade campers come into first time relationship with Jesus and ask Him to live in their heart forever.  I stood in tears with Christian Finck and prayed for their future and that God would build that spark into a flame that roars for Him. I wonder now  how their future will be impacted by the loss of “their camp”.  

God will still move. He does not need us. But I believe He wants us to be a part of it. And I believe there is a better way. I am praying and fasting and believing. I am begging the Lord to meet with me here and make my heart a sanctuary so I can serve those He puts in my path and help ease the hurt the conference has now caused.

Hometown Love Part Three::D&D/Grandma's Attic and The Superhero 5k

I know it's been a few weeks.  But ya know, life happens.  And while it's happening I plan on living every moment.  Which means sometimes I don't have time to write.

But today I have a few things to share with you that I love about my small town or about being from a small town.  The first is a place.  When I was young it was called D&D Variety.  It was one of my favorite places to go.  It was the local "dime store".  The only place in town to buy things actually.  After school we would walk there and buy candy and other random things.  I always thought it was full of treasure.  On Homecoming it was especially busy as people went in to buy silly string and other things while waiting for the parade to start.  The store was separated into a few rooms.  I can remember one room seeming to have "nicer" or "fancier" things in it.  I didn't go in there much.  I was intrigued by the greeting card section.  I always thought the store smelled like dust and sugar.  I'm sure that's odd.  My friends and I had so much fun walking to this store after school.  As we got older and could drive we went there less, but it was still our go to if we needed something in town.
As more businesses opened in and around our town business died down and D&D.  It was sold and sat empty for awhile.  Now it has been turned into a resale/flea market kind of place.  It is called Grandma's Attic.  And it has again become one of my favorite places to go.  The 80 year old lady living inside of me thinks there is nothing better than antiques, glassware and old things.  I love going in and hearing from Maggie the happenings of the day.  She seems to know the story of everything in the store and the people who set up their booths.  Information about an item or negotiating a price is only a phone call away.  It doesn't really smell like sugar anymore, probably due to it's lack of selling candy.  :)  It is a neat place to stop by when you are going through town.  It is right on Main Street and is still full of treasurers waiting to be discovered and given new life.

So that was the first, next is an event.  Some of the things I am going to be writing about are community events.  I love that in Paris community events really are a great place for the community to come together.  I love that so many people try to support different causes and participate in things simply to support people in our community.
I recently had the opportunity to participate in one such event.  A local kiddo and his family (who happen to be my neighbors--not like small town we're all neighbors, but they actually live right by me) hosted a 5k.  Now, if you know me you know I love the challenge of a 5k.  It is a way that I am working on myself by doing as many as I can afford to do!  This particular 5k was to raise money for Camp Hickory Hill which is a camp for children with diabetes.  It is a place they can go to have a wonderful camp experience, but also have time to learn skills and practice managing their own health.  It was called the Superhero 5k.  I was not sure the morning of if I was going to make it.  I had just walked a 5k the night before with my family for my niece and nephew's school and I had never done back to back 5ks.  But I showed up.  I finished.  Last of course, but that it not nearly as important to me as the fact that I finished.  The reason I loved this so much is that along the route everyone encouraged other participants.  It was a route that looped so as we met people who were on their way back we were offered words of support and encouragement and high fives.  When we finally did finish there were still people waiting there at the finish line to cheer us on and clap when we finished.  I have done some events where everyone walks their own race with their headphones in and never looks up and when people are done they just hop in their car and leave and don't think twice about anyone else participating.  I love that in my small town it was not like that.  Everyone was supported and cheered for, from the first place to the last place.  And we helped a great cause in the process!

Before the start of the Superhero 5k with my bff and walking partner Charline.

After completing the Superhero 5k.  It was my 7th one so I am holding up 7 fingers.  Excuse the look of pain but I was actually in quite a bit of pain!

If you are still reading these and are interested to know here are some things I plan to write about in the coming weeks:  the courthouse, Relay for Life, the farmer's market, Jacs, 15 Diner, the churches, the schools, the fairgrounds and many others.  If you have suggestions let me know!

Hometown Love Week Two::Jonesy's

It is hard to pick places to write about when expressing my great love for my hometown.  I have compiled a long list of places.  Today I will be writing about Jonesy's. 

Jonesy's is a diner smack dab in the middle of Main Street.  It is everything you would expect a small town diner to be.  (I often call these places hole in the wall local spots---but only out of pure love for them!)  When you open the door you can immediately smell fried food.  You know that if you order french fries your plate will be heaped so full there is no way you could eat them all!  The people who work there are efficient and friendly.  It is a typical small town diner.

An article telling about the history of Jonesy's.  It is a picture of the framed article so naturally it is not good.  Article originally published in the Monroe County Appeal.

One of the things I love about this place is the history contained in a tiny building.  They have an article posted on their wall that talks about the first opening in 1934.  The article says that when originally opened it was in conjunction with the old Opera House Theatre building.  This is something I didn't even know had ever existed in my town.  (So now naturally I have more research to do!)  I also learned that it used to be known among locals as the Co-Op  because it was originally opened by the Dairy Cooperative.  Thank you Mr. Clyde Jones for letting it be your namesake now because to me Co-Op is a place to buy feed!  It has changed hands only a handful of times since then and has retained the charm that makes it one of my favorite places.  The booths are narrow and wooden.  The soda counter is lined with spinning seats.  The walls are covered in memorabilia that tells a story of a thriving past for our tiny town.  If you happen to be there at a good time of day you can catch Connie and Steve (the owners) both there and they will tell you all kinds of things about the business. 

Booths

Counter

The original sign.  Look closely and check out those prices!

Pictures, signs and local memorabilia adorning the walls.

The food is typical diner food.  Burgers and fries.  But I love to walk down there and order cheese balls and a milk shake...just like I did when I was in Jr. High and we could easily walk there from our school building in the afternoons.  If you sit in Jonesy's long enough you will see all sorts of people and hear all sorts of stories.  This place has been a favorite of many people for a long time and will continue to be.  My friends and I have recently begun experiencing the joy of introducing younger generations to the history and nostalgia of afternoons at Jonesy's.  They may never get to simply walk down the street from their school and order a milkshake, but they'll end up there anyways!  If you end up there give me a call and we can have some ice cream!

My T man enjoying lunch at Jonesy's earlier this week.

Just a note--since I have already been asked this--I was not asked (by Jonesy's or anyone else) to write specifically about this local establishment and am receiving no reimbursement or reward for doing so.  It is simply one of the many charms of Paris that I wish to enlighten my city dwelling friends about.  :)

Hometown Love Week 1

Ok, I suck at blogging.  I just do.  If I could manage to transfer all the things I write in a notebook to this blog then I might have something to post like once a week.  But that never works out for me.  I always have plans of things to write about and that never works out for me either.  I always think summer would be a good time to try and write some posts...but then ya know...it's summer and who wants to do anything at all??  But you know me...I just don't know when to call it quits.  So here we go again.

I have a plan for the summer.  A plan of something to write about.  Something important to me.  My hometown.  I have been visiting quite a few people this past year.  And quite a few people have come to visit me.  During those visits it never fails that someone comments about my hometown.  Usually it is along the lines of "I don't even know how you can live there.  Aren't you miserable?  You should just move."  So I am on a mission to make those city dwelling friends of mine love my tiny town.  (Ok, maybe not love it, but at least recognize why I love it.)  If you are reading this and you already love my town then that's great!  Maybe you can agree with some of the things I think.  I plan to break it up and write a little each week this summer.  Maybe I will be able to keep writing even after summer is over!  (But you know how those plans usually go...)

So...Hometown Love Week 1
I love my hometown--which is Paris, MO for those of you who don't know (be warned if you're a stalker though...I am not at all interesting)--because it is just that:: HOME!  Doesn't everyone have fond memories of the first place they thought of as home?  This is mine.  My history is here.  Everywhere I go there is a memory or a story.  There is something that enables me to feel.  The field where my first serious boyfriend and I used to look at stars and dream.  The barn where we broke up and new dreams were born.  The building that was my Jr. High where I spent the awkward teen years.  The church steps I sat on with my friends listening to music.  The driveway where I took skateboarding lessons.  (I know...I'm a dork.)  The library where my sweet momma would take me to "shop" for books when I was little.  Everyone has a place full of those things and this is mine.

I love knowing someone everywhere I go.  When I was a teenager it meant if I was acting up in town my mom knew about it before I even got home.  Now it means there are people scattered all over my daily life who know what's going on with me.  They care and are invested in my life.  When I am preparing for a 5K they are asking me how it is going while I am checking out at the grocery store.  When I have succeeded (or failed) at something they are encouraging me and cheering me on while I am shopping for curtains at the Dollar General.  These are my people and they know my life.  "But isn't it annoying to have people in your business all the time?"  Yes.  But fortunately for me that has not been an issue because as previously  mentioned I am pretty boring.  Here is a way that has worked out to my benefit though.  In December when my dad had a stroke a few meaningful things happened that would not have happened in a city.  First, as my sister was trying to call me in the middle of the night and I didn't answer she called a friend and was prepared to send them to my house to knock on my door/window/whatever they needed to do to wake me up.  I ended up calling her back before that happened...but it was an option.  Second, I knew that the first responders and EMT/paramedics responding to that call were people who knew and loved my family.  One of them later told me that as soon as he heard my dad's name he just drove as fast as he could toward my house wondering the whole time if anyone had gotten ahold of me yet.  Third, people checked on me.  They checked on my dad too, but they checked on me.  One of my mom's friends put gas in my car one day because the hospital was an hour away and he knew that a two hour round trip several times a week was expensive.  He didn't ask...he just did it.  One of my neighbors took care of my pets.  My coworkers offered to drive me to the hospital and invited me to their family gatherings since it was Christmas time.  People cared.  And it was amazing.  It made me feel lucky to be a part of this community.
Does this kind of community caring happen in the city?  I am sure it does.  If you are one of the people who is lucky enough to be plugged into a community within your city.  But for some it doesn't.  One of my best friends lives in a large city and doesn't know her neighbors yet after a little over two years.  My community is here.  And I love it.

So that's reason one.  Probably nothing new and nothing spectacular.  I love my hometown because it is my home.  It is where I found a community to be a part of.

Next week I hope to write about one of the many great places in my town.  Stay tuned.

Friday Five--What I (RE)Learned This Summer

 Lately I've been longing for a fresh start.  I plan to write more about that later...but we'll see how that goes.  Basically it comes down to that I've been fighting a battle.  And in that battle I've learned so much more about the sweetness of Jesus.  So in this new season (both literally as Autumn--my favorite season--is dawning and my life is taking a new turn) I figured what better way to organize my thoughts than my long lost blog.  So, hello friends!

To start here is a post about five things I learned (mostly re-learned) this summer::

1.  Say what you mean/Mean what you say.  I have been so guilty in my life lately of not doing this.  And it makes things to complicated.  I find myself making empty comments.  Vague compliments.  Sugarcoated "truth".  Then it's a challenge to sort through what I actually said to someone verses what I actually meant when I said it.  I tell people often that I value honesty...so I have been intentionally working on being more honest.  There were times this summer when that has been rough.  And it's still a work in progress.  As is life.

2.  Protect Your Time.  Time is precious and valuable.  I had a life event this summer where I was reminded that days/moments/hours/months are precious and can be gone in an instant.  I also had several occasions where I agreed (committed) to do things and then didn't make them a priority.  I didn't work to free up the time to actually do those things.  I have a crazy busy life and this summer was no exception.  This relates back to the first thing...but I am learning to protect my time in two big ways.  First, I am not committing to too many things.  I am taking intentional time for myself.

3.  I Lack/Need Discipline.  Specifically things that can all relate back to spiritual discipline.  There are specific areas of my life that need work.  And most of that work needs to happen in my life--not outside of it.  I have made slow steps to starting.  (I've made a lot of steps in disciplining myself in the area of physical health as this summer I completed two more 5Ks making my total three!) I plan to post a Friday Five next week that shares the top five disciplines I am working on as well as the why and how. 

4.  The World Is A Beautiful Place.  I know that sounds cheesy.  But friends let me tell you...this summer I had the joyous opportunity to road trip from Missouri to Arizona with my best friend/roommate to visit my lifelong birth to earth best friend Will.  We saw so many amazing things along the way.  (Had time/money not been an issue I could have extended the road trip for days just to stop and see all the cool stuff along the way.)  We saw mountains, beautiful cities, quaint tiny towns, plains--literally just flat land as far as you could see, monuments, sculptures--including Cadillac Ranch where the sculptures are actually cars, sunrises, sunsets, cacti, a big huge (and sometimes very dark) sky, and hundreds of other things along the way.  We literally drove off into the sunset in New Mexico.  It was amazing and beautiful.  So I am learning to see the beauty in our world.  And I am finding ways to see more of it.

Right before driving into the sunset. 

5.  My Life/Family/Time Is Now.  I used to say that I would do things I thought sounded cool "when I have a family" to do them with.  I'll make photo Christmas cards when I have a husband and kids to put on them.  I'll start holiday traditions when I have a family.  I'll go on vacation when I have a family.  Well folks, here's the reality...the husband and kids part might not be part of God's plan for me.  (I have kind of refused to accept that and am speaking/praying my future children into existence...but learning to trust God with that is rough).  I have been reshaping my view on "family".  I have realized my parents, siblings and friends have built for me this amazing family.  Yes, I literally consider some of my friends my family.  (A few of them I think my parents would adopt given the chance and sell me off to the circus...)  And my time with them is now.  The time to experience life is now.  I don't want to miss it.  The discovery of the journey.  The opportunity to photograph that journey along the way.  I don't want to miss my life.  So I will cherish it--and the season I am in--now.  Whether I have five years or fifty years left to live it.

Some friends who are family and family who are friends.  A few of the blessings in my world.

I am looking forward to the learning to come.  I am greeting this season of life with open arms and a transforming heart.  I can't wait to read this a year from now and see where my life is. 

Epic Battle?? I'm in!

 

God is unchanging.  God is faithful.  God is not ruled by human emotions or logic.  

I needed to start with those truths.  This week has been very interesting for me.  I’ve been incredibly moody and unmotivated.  I’ve been rocked to my core by some honest evaluation.  I’ve been loved unconditionally by my Jesus.  

Some of you know that I’m a hoarder.  Well my roommate and I are having a garage sale this weekend.  I can not even explain how difficult it is to part with my stuff.  This process has brought about tears and yelling and panic attacks.  I am sure that I have been unnecessarily mean to my roommate and my brother as they try to help me achieve the goal of getting rid of at least half of my “stuff”.  I always thought that being materialistic was defined by always wanting (thinking you need) the newest “best” stuff.  I am not like that so I thought I was good.  I have learned that I am materialistic in a totally different way.  I have stuff because I feel that it adds value to my life.  I rely on the stuff in my life and I [somewhere in my brain] think if I don’t have things then I have nothing to offer and lack worth.  

As I was going through stuff I found an artistic Vision Plan given to me by the person who discipled me on Summer Project in 2007.  For those of you who are unfamiliar a Vision Plan starts with truths about you then gives you areas to work on.  Not things to stress about…but things to trust God with.  So I stopped and took some time to study this document.  Oh how could a 12x12 piece of paper make such an impact.  I noticed that the things my friend listed as areas for me to work on (or opportunities to see God work in my life) are pretty much—and by pretty much I mean EXACTLY—the things I would say are still areas of struggle in my life.  Now, I don’t know if you’re doing the math here but the summer of 2007 was almost exactly five years ago.  Five years.  How is it possible that I have not grown at all in five years?  How is it possible that I continually push these vital areas of my life with Jesus to the side?  

I considered these areas and also tried to process my issues with being a hoarder and needing stuff.  As I took some time to stop and analyze that (and chat with my mama and one awesome friend) I realized a very hard truth about my life.

I don’t trust God.  I love God.  I am sure that Jesus died for my sins and that I am forgiven and dearly loved by Him.  There is no doubt about the foundational truths in my mind.  But I don’t trust God.  That’s extremely difficult for me to say.  It hurts me to think that I could be missing such an important part of a relationship as trust.  

So this morning I flipped my radio to the Christian radio station (which I honestly don’t listen to that often but it’s on my presets) and this song came on.  I had never heard it before but will probably be listening to excessively for a week or so.  The line that caught my attention said “There was a day when your faith couldn’t be held down…” The chorus then went on to say “The same God who was with you then is with you now.  The same God who led you in will lead you out.”  Now at this point you may be thinking ‘jeez Tracy Leigh can you get to the point already this song has nothing to do with what you’re talking about’.  If that’s you stick with me…I’m about done!

That song rocked me to my core.  There was a time in my life when my faith could not be tamed.  I was not a fan of Jesus, I was fanatic!  I prayed fervently and devoured scripture as if it were my very lifeblood.  I felt like Jesus was so close that I could reach out and hold His hand!  So guess what...He’s still the SAME GOD!!  He will never leave me.  If you ask Him to walk with you He will never leave you.  You see in a world that lacks consistency, or in a life such as mine that lacks consistency, God is consistent and unchanging.  He is unfailing.  

Was this song a miracle cure?  No.  Me and Jesus [and my parents and a trusted friend and an awesome pastor] are working through this trust thing.  I don’t trust God.  But I want to.  I don’t know how I’m gonna get there from here.  I don’t know how it will go.  I know it will be a battle of my flesh every day of my life.  In that struggle it’s so comforting to me to know that Jesus chose me.  He said Tracy Leigh I love you and you’re mine. 

So it’s time to battle.  I’m ready.  I’m equipped.  I’m in. 

I am attempting to link up with Faith Filled Fridays on BeholdingGlory.  Check there for some awesome other encouragement and truth about Jesus!

Sweet Sunday

Daylight Savings Time can be quite perplexing.  On Facebook this morning several friends commented on the fact that it threw their children and/or pets off of a much needed schedule.  I don't have children (yet!) and my pet is a lazy fish.  So it didn't affect me much.  I was actually more worried about my roomate missing the time change and being late for work than I was for myself.  So I was up at my normal time of 5-ish which today turned into 6-ish.  No big deal.  I went in the kitchen and made muffins for the hospitality room at church.  This room is new to my church.  My friend Shelley (with limited assistance and much encouragement and company from me) painted an old Sunday School room.  We moved some furniture, had people sign up to bring snacks and ta-da a hospitality room was born.  It's turning into a cute cozy little place for people to gather on Sunday mornings.  I have big dreams of what it could expand in to someday...but for now it works for what we need.  So I have now been in my office here at church for a few hours.  I have gotten a lot of work done.  I have also done some daydreaming.  My brain is going crazy right now with ideas and things I want to do. 

I may have mentioned this before, but I have this thing where often I don't see what is I see what could be.  When speaking of this to friends I usually just refer to it now as "my disease".  :)  So sitting here in my office I look around and all of a sudden see what I want this church to be.  I see very functional and practical ways that it could be organized and given a new face if only time, money, motivation and opposition were not factors.  I look out the window and see the empty lot across the street and can see all my wishes of a community garden staring back at me.  How cool would that be if my church bought that land and planted a community garden in the summer and had classes to teach children about growing food and how eating from a garden can be beneficial financially as well as to your health.  I flip through some pictures a friend posted on Facebook this morning and can all of a sudden see this great idea I have coming into being.  It's great and inspiring and motivating and EXHAUSTING!  I will work on my motivation.  I will work on picking through my "dreams and visions" and trying to focus on a few at a time.  My Pastor told me once "do for one what you would like to do for many".  He was talking about people but I think it's true for ideas.  I can either do a bunch of things half way or I can focus on a just few things.  I can start giving them a lot of effort and time and see them come into fruition.  Then I can move on to the next few big ideas. 

These are just some things rolling around in my head this morning.  For now I will go sit in the hospitality room with my sweet mama.  Drink coffee and eat muffins.  Wait for it to be time to go upstairs and hear about this beautiful Journey to Hope we are on during the season of Lent.  I will just enjoy the fact that the sun is shining, my heart is full and it is a sweet Sunday.

Just so you know...

Just so you know... (a collection of random thoughts for this moment in time)

*It is an absolutely beautiful day.  I had girls night last night with a few of my favorite people.  Went to bed happy.  Woke up happy.  Listened to some great music by my friend Derek to start off my day.  The weahter, the mood, everything just seems right for this small moment in time.

*I hung out with a {quite sassy} four year old all weekend.  Though it provided some challenges it also made my heart ache for the time when I will get to be a mommy.

*I got my nails done last night {what can I say I am weak against peer pressure and it was a girls night thing}.  While I love that they are sparkly I think they are a little too long.  I do wish I could grow my own strong healthy nails.  *Oh and on a side note when I have acrylic nails I tap them together all the time and I am absolutely assured that it drives people crazy...but I just can't help it!*

*I am looking forward to next week a ton because I will get to see my friend!  Yay!

*I really REALLY want hot chocolate.

*No one showed up for Sunday School today and I'm sad because I really wanted to do the activity I planned...but now I have to wait until next week. 

*I have this friend who I haven't talked to in a really long time and all week I have thought about this person.  Missing people can be such a horrible feeling.  I don't know how to convince my heart to let go and move forward.

*I spend so much time drawing plans and "shopping" for my dream house and my dream church and my dream classroom that I think I should have been an architect or a designer. 

Have a great Sunday!

What I'm Reading Lately

I love reading.  There is a book I read to my students where the kid spends the night in the library and he says "Surrounded by books I feel happy and rich."  I get that.  I love being able to escape into a book.  To find a world other than mine.  It inspires me to think, create and write.  It makes me feel relieved to be able to get lost in a book.  One of my goals on my list for 2012 is to read 50 books.  I originally was going to start with my standby old favorite To Kill a Mockingbird.  However it seems to have been misplaced since the move.  I had to revise the plan.  Here are my thoughts on the first three books I have read this year. 

 Image from Google

Book One:: The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel

Most of the books I read are fiction and in no way change or shape my thinking.  They are merely an escape or something to exercise my mind.  This one however is different.  This book was suggested to me by my pastor friend.  He could not have been more right when he said he thought I would find it helpful.  This books puts a lot of things into words that I think a lot of people already feel anyways.  A lot of the questions that he poses affect most of the people I know.  There was a chapter about when you believe in God, but don't believe that you can change or that God can help you change.  This chapter was intense for me.  I find myself falling into that pattern of thinking so much.  Saying well this is just the way I am.  It was challenging and made me think.  I am going to be processing this for a long time.

Book Two:: The Hunger Games and Book Three:: Catching Fire

I loved both of these books and highly recommend them.  I can't wait to read the third and last book.  They also made me think but in a totally different not life altering way.  :)  I find that almost everything can come down to the basic battle between good and evil.  These books (in case you haven't heard) are set in a futuristic society where life is controlled by The Capitol.  It is pretty much totally unfathomable to me to think that our world could ever be like that.  Both of these books are packed with action and unexpected things.  They leave you needing to read the next chapter and then when the book is over they leave you needing to read the next book.  As soon as my roomate gets done with Mocking Jay I will be reading it and adding it to my list. 

So, three books down.  47 more to go.  I will keep you updated and informed as I go.  Hope you can read some of these books too and then I will have someone to talk to about them!

To Begin Again

Clearly I'm not so great at this blogging thing.  I think of tons of things to write about but then I find reasons not to do it.  I guess one could say it's good because I'm keeping busy.  But it's a new year.  I have new goals.  I have several friends who think there is nothing special about the new year.  They see no reason to mark it as an occasion and find the celebrations simply ridiculous.  To some it is merely a passage of time.  I, however, find it important to mark that passage of time.  I like to remember where I have been and where I am headed.  I am thankful for the things I have learned and I anticipate the future.  Reflections come easy at this time of year.

I do much better with goals than with resolutions.  And they are not even huge goals.  It is actually just a list of things I want to accomplish or do in 2012.  Right now there are 8 things on my list...which is totally attainable.  I figure it's a good place to start.  Basically my list is about finding simplicity.  Continuing to extinguish my hoarder tendencies and squelch the desire to be lazy and complacent.  I have mentioned before that I want to learn to do things.  My mother sometimes says I was born in the wrong era because I want to bake bread and cook with cast iron and be "OLD FASHIONED".  Really I just want to have the knowledge and skill that will allow me to build the kind of life I want to have.  A life I can be happy in and can be proud of.  So here is my list...

1. Fit into my favorite jeans.  They are currently exactly two sizes too small.  It is a small goal compared to some health goals I have heard the past few days...but it is one that I am confident will be a great starting point.

2. Complete a Pinterest project.  I have pinned so many things and thought of so many ideas...but I have not done any of them.  So lame.  So on my list is to complete a project from Pinterest.  After completing one maybe I will be motivated to do more!!

3. Memorize 24 scriptures.  That equals an average of 2 a month.  I tried to do this once before and became too absorbed in the required time frame of it to allow myself freedom and flexibility.  So I am trying again.  And I already picked out my first scripture.  It's actually the one I taught in Sunday School yesterday...2 Corinthians 5:17.

4. Finish a 5k.  Walking it is my goal for now.  Who knows...maybe someday I will run part of it.  I mean, I have been training for this since September...so it's only right it should be on my list.  It may take me hours to complete but I will finish!!

5. Make a t-shirt quilt.  This goes along with learning skills...I don't know how to use a sewing machine.  My Junior High and High School Home Economics teachers would be so disappointed to see that.  I just never really put forth the effort to learn that skill in a way that I would remember it and be good at it.  So I have watched one tutorial already and have found some more.  And Lord knows I have enough t-shirt to make a couple quilts!!

6. Bake bread.  From scratch.  Enough said.

7. Plant a garden.  If my landlord agrees I will do this in the yard of the new house I moved into a month or so ago.  (By the way for those who didn't know I moved!)  If not I will plant a garden at my parents' farm and just drive there to check on it every day!

8. Read 50 books.  That seems like a lot.  This is the goal I am not quite so sure about.  I think I can do it since I read a lot, but I have never stopped to think about how many books I have read in a year.  I am starting with a book I have read before which may be kind of cheating...but the other 49 will be new to me books.  On my list are the books of The Hunger Games series, The City of Embers series and Soul Cravings.  Maybe my friend Kate can teach me how to put a tracker thing on here so I can keep track with you the number of books I've read!  :)

So that's it.  My list so far.  I am sure I will add more things as I go.  But they will be carefully thought out things.  Things that didn't make "the list" but that I am also hoping for are blogging more, sending more mail to people "just because", cleaning out my storage building, having a garage sale, organizing my pictures and starting a scrapbook, doing something great for my parents' 40th anniversary, leading a Bible study, going back to Joplin and visiting more state capitals.

Today I will enjoy my last day of vacation.  My awesome parents are coming over for lunch.  I am reading.  I am watching a movie.  Tonight I will hang out with my great roomate.  And tomorrow I will go back to work keeping my goals in mind.  I will keep moving forward because going back is not an option.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness

So it's November.  Where does the time go?  I often find myself pondering over how quickly time goes by.  I recently heard someone say "Don't spend your whole life waiting for your whole life to start." and oh how true that is!  So, last fall I did this challenge called Thirty Days of Thankfulness.  The point is to think about something you are thankful for each day of November.  I really enjoy doing this challenge because it reminds me of all that God has given me.  He has blessed my life so much.  I have decided this year I would also like to allow myself time to reflect on what each of those things I'm thankful for says about my Savior!!  I will not blog every single day due to practicality, but I will try to on some days at least.  It gives me a reason to blog I guess.  So here is what it says on my Facebook as my thankful statment for today...

Tracy Leigh Huffman

‎30 Days of Thankfulness-Day 1::Today I am thankful for my girls. In conversations with my mom we often refer to them as "the bridesmaids" because if I ever get married they will be the girls who deal with my crazy side!! Thanks for being the best friends I could ever imagine...I would be lost without you all and that's for sure! Mandy Harris Alisa Van Zante Charline Copenhaver Jamie Kropf and Leslie Ricketts (@Philip Ricketts).

I love them! Jamie and Leslie are not in this picture because it's impossible to get us all in the same place at the same time.  This picture was taken in the summer and it was hot outside and we are not loving the way we look in this picture...but we were having fun.  Actually I believe at the moment we were laughing at Mandy and her inability to take a normal looking picture. 

My friends amaze me.  But here's the God part...guess what...IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!!  It's so hard to remember that things are not about me sometimes.  You would think in friendships it's easy to think of the other person.  But that's not always true.  When someone asks why these ladies are my best friends I would rattle off a list of reasons about how they are always there for me and how they listen to my problems.  I want to be the kind of person who thinks about what I can do for my friends, not what they can do for me.  I also want them to know without question or hesitation that I love Jesus and Jesus loves them (and me)!  And even that is not about me.  It's not really about them either.  It's about Jesus.  He allows us to have friendships with people to strengthen and bless us.  He desires for us to do life together.  He desires us to work together to find a way to bring glory to His name.  How lovely it is when you find friendships that do just that. 

I am forever thankful for the gift that God has given me in the blessing of my friends.  Women who love me and love the Lord and will bring me back to reality when I need it.  Women who encourage me to strive for excellence because our God is not a God of mediocrity.  How beautiful the gift of friendship.  I truly am thankful for them. 

Two Month Vacation

Wow.  Time away from a computer is a strange thing.  So after my computer crashed this summer I could have gone to the library and posted things.  Or made more of an effort to post things from my parents' house.  (Which is where I actually currently am located.)  But truthfully I kind of enjoyed the silence from technology.  It gave me time to think and read and plan.  I worked a lot on plans for a Halloween party and a Christmas Tea.  I got both of those fully planned out and I am happy to tell you that I am now a successful party planner.  It was strange to plan a party for someone else...and actually get paid for it.  It was fun though.  Really fun.  I tell you what...planning a Halloween celebration like that one made my plans for the evening seem really boring though!  So anyways, now that I have decided to write again I hope to do so more regularly.  We'll see how that goes!

Some big news in my life is that I am training for a 5K.  That will not come as a surprise to some of you since I posted it on Facebook.  But, it's going fairly well.  People keep asking me how I am feeling.  I am thankful that they want to know but I also want to scream "my body feels like it's screaming and my shins are on fire"!!!  I have never been athletic in my life.  Ever.  I played soccer when I was a younger child but it was for fun and I was not really good at it.  I don't run.  I don't really exercise.  I just don't.  So this is hard.  It's really hard.  My shins really do feel like they're on fire.  I have to ice them like every day.  But I also feel good about it.  I feel like I am  making progress.  I may finish last in the particular 5K I am training for, but I will finish because I am determined.  Have you ever run a 5K?  Have you ever felt like you were going to die but knew that something was good for you?  I must push through!!!

Ok...so I guess that's all I have for now.  I am going to a friend's for dinner with her and her family tonight.  A friend who is immensely encouraging.  A friend who I am enjoying learning from.  I am looking forward to it.   Do you have people like that?  I hope so!

Making Pepper Jelly

A few days ago I spent the afternoon with my friend Marie.  She is a lady that I absolutely adore!  Her children range in age from like 8-18 (four boys) and are some of the most well mannered kids I have ever met.  Marie makes homemade pepper jelly every summer with the peppers she grows in her garden.  In case you didn't know this already I am a big fan of pepper jelly.  I sometimes buy the Harry & David kind but not often since I'm poor.  Well...Marie invited me to come spend the afternoon at her house and learn to make pepper jelly.  All she asked me to bring was some jars and some sugar.  She grew all the peppers herself.  And she had the vinegar and pectin.  I came home with ten jars of pepper jelly.  I had so much fun.  I had intended to post pictures but I got so caught up in actually making jelly I forgot to take pictues of us making jelly. 

While we were waiting for the jelly to cool a little Marie told me about how to make other kinds of jelly.  She said if you can make one (and I did in fact make a batch of the pepper jelly) that you can make any kind.  I am excited to try and make some strawberry jam.  I am excited to have a skill that I have always wanted.  I feel like I can make something and give it to people as a gift and they will think I am so cool for knowing how to make this! Ha!  I am such a dork.

So this has me thinking about other things I want to learn to make.  So I am making a list of the things I want to learn to make.  I already have a list of things I want to learn to do.   I will probably post these at a later date.  I am excited that I am learning how to make things from scratch.  Oh, this is a random side note but my grandma gave me a bunch of vegetables from her garden so I am cooking lots of FRESH things this week and that makes me happy too! 

I guess this post was kind of random...but it's all I've got for now!

The Chronicles of Narnia

In March I started reading the Chronicles of Narnia series.  This was the first time I had read these books.  I remember in college I went with a group of friends to see The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.  It was actually a midnight showing and was used as an outreach event to tell people about Jesus.  When the movie was over I said to one of my friends who was with me "That would have been a really cool book."  He looked at me like I was crazy and said "It is a book."  I think I probably said hmm.  I don't know why, but not only had I never read these books, I had never even heard of these books.  So, I decided I would read them.  Then you know how that goes, that plan got put on hold...then I kind of forgot about it.  Then awhile back the whole boxed series showed up in a book order I was sending home with my students.  I decided I would buy the series for myself and finally read them.  I originally thought I could read them all in March.  I probably could have if I had been able to stay focused.  And if I had not decided that was also a good time to read the House of Night series.  So, I just finished the last one on Tuesday night.  Here are my thoughts...

I chose to read the books in the order that they were in when I got them.  I did some research before I started reading because I know there is some dispute as to what order the books should be read in.  Here is how I got them (it was labeled 'Author's Order'):

The Magician's Nephew

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

The Horse and His Boy

Prince Caspian

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The Silver Chair

The Last Battle

I was not really sure about reading The Magician's Nephew first since it was not the first movie.  My only exposure to this series had been the first movie.  I am so glad I started with this book and I am so glad I followed this order in reading the books.  My favorite part about this first book was reading about the founding of Narnia.  It could have been so easy to get lost in the other stuff.  The strange dialect.  The characters who seemed not fully developed in a literary sense.  But then it gets to the part where it talks about the Lion's Song.  About how Aslan himself called Narnia into being.  About everything springing up and being brand new and being like things they had never seen before.  I was in awe.  It was beautiful and inspring and tear jerking.  I wondered a lot about how this compared to the creation of the world. 

The next book-The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe-was all I had expected it to be since I had seen the movie.  However, as it usually is, the book was better.  I usually like to read books first because the amount of detail that is in them that it is just impossible to include in the movie.  I enjoyed reading about all the things I had enjoyed watching.  The shapes that came to life and danced in the fire while Mr. Tumnus first played his song for Lucy, the emotion when he realized what a horrible thing he had done, the despair Edmund felt when he realized he was wrong about the Whtie Witch, the way Aslan spoke and roared and commanded his followers.  It was beautiful.

The Horse and His Boy was an interesting read.  For those of you who are not familiar it is simply a story about an adventure that happens while the children are in Narnia.  It is in the years between when they defeat the White Witch and when they go back through the wardrobe to find that though it had been many years in Narnia (almost a lifetime) it had been only fractions of a second in their own world.  Nothing happened that left me in awe, but this book was a quick and easy read.

Prince Caspian is maybe my favorite of these books.  I loved it so much I have decided I want to name a kid after Prince Caspian.  Caspian is brave and valiant and a gentleman.  He leads his people with ease yet gives respect to Peter the High King.  My favorite part of this book is the description of the battle.  I could literally see this happening like a movie in my head.  Few books pull me in the way this one did.  I love how when Aslan asks Caspian if he is prepared to be the King, Caspian says no and Aslan knows that is exactly what will make him a great King.  Peter and Susan so bravely and willingly walk away from Narnia in this book.  Some may not see it this way, but to me it was about sacrifice.  Peter would have loved to stay in Narnia forever and ever.  But he was willing to leave because he knew that was what Aslan wished. 

After reading Voyage of the Dawn Treader I watched the movie and was so disappointed in the movie.  I could so identify with Eustace.  It is so easy to think that I have it all together.  I love how he talks about being scratched out of the dragon.  He says that it hurt but it was worth it.  I love Reepicheep.  He is so ready to take on any adventure for Aslan.  How many times could we benefit from that example?  To be ready and willing to go into the unknown in pursuit of our God.  This books surprised me in it's descriptions of places.  I enjoyed the adjective rich text.  My favorite part of this story was when Aslan told Lucy she would have to come to know Him by another name in her world.  How profound.

The Silver Chair was one of the hardest for me to read.  It was slow going.  I had a really hard time getting into the book, but once I did I read the last half pretty quickly.  It was a good story about the rescue of Prince Rilian.  It just seemed somehow disconnected from the other books.  And I guess I don't have much more to say about it.

The Last Battle.  Oh how I enjoyed this book.  I was not expecting it to end the way it did.  If you are reading this blog, you MUST read the book.  And when you do I want to hear all about your thoughts.  I don't want to give everything away, but I guess I assume that most people have read this.  The fact that the author refers to the world as "Shadowland" is perfect.  I like that it's talked about how when they go into "Aslan's Country" it is like Narnia and also like their world but somehow better and brighter as if they has been only looking at a reflection.  And as beautiful and awe inspiring as it was to read about the founding of Narnia, it was just as tragic to read about the end of it.  Not at all what I expected, but satisfying. 

So, that said I am now done reading The Chronicles of Narnia.  I am going to start reading the True Blood series next.  Don't think I can pick anything much different from Chronicles of Narnia than that.  I now anxiously await the rest of the movies to come out.  I will be interested to see what movies they make and what movies they don't make and how they do them.  And that is all my thoughts on that!

Update

So I think this blogging thing would be so much easier if I had the internet at my house!  Oh, and on top of that my computer crashed.  Lame.  Good thing Ben pulled my hard drive.  He saved it and turned it into an external hard drive so all the stuff that was on my computer is still there...there is just no computer anymore.  I am hoping that that doesn't add a whole new level of difficulty to working on school stuff at home.  So a lot has happened lately.  Let me think.  Here is a quick update...at least the things I can think about...

*I had my birthday.  It was maybe the best birthday I have had in a long time.  First of all Alisa was here.  So I started my birthday with her singing to me and Charline texting me shortly after midnight.  This reminded me that I have two of the very best friends ever!  I woke up to birthday greetings from my family which is a tradition in my family and I love it.  I miss the days that we all lived in the same house and I got woken up to in person birthday greetings...but phone greetings are good too.  I love this tradition.  When I have a kid(s) I want to always wake them up on their birthday and tell them the story of how special they are and how God brought them to me cause those are some of the best moments.  The day continued by me finding out that Erica was in town two days early.  I got to go spend some time with her and Trevor for the morning.  Then I got to have lunch with Ringo.  I was so thrilled that he was in town and the timing was perfect.  I met his friend, we had lunch and then went to the high school to show her where we went to school.  This was so fun!  Then I took a nap and got ready for Bible School.  At Bible School the kids all sang to me.  After Bible school Shelley and Charline came over for cake and punch.  My day was so great.  My friends and family are so amazing.

Me, Ringo and his friend!

*I got to have lunch with Erica, Jamie and Alyse.  We started out with Trevor but he did not want to be at lunch so he hung out with his daddy and we had a girls lunch.  It was so good to hang out with them all at the same time.  We wished that our friend Dana had been able to make it, but she couldn't come.  Alyse entertained us all.  She talks so much!

*Oh, our family celebrated other birthdays!  We had birthday parties for Alyse, then Hunter, then Levi.  Levi was so sleepy at his party he couldn't even really enjoy opening his gifts.  I love seeing him discover new things though.  I am amazed by little kids!

* I went to the Kindergarten Conference at the Lake of the Ozarks.  This is where lots of Missouri kindergarten teachers get together for a few days to learn about new things in education and ideas about bringing fun things into your classroom.  It was pretty good.  I got some good ideas and I got to know the girl I will be teaching with next year. 

*I went to see the newest (and last ever) Harry Potter movie which was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.  Gosh I love that movie.  I did not read the books when they first were popular.  I was not part of the crowd who stood there in line waiting to get a book.  I was a late comer to the HP phenomenon.  But I did in fact read every single book BEFORE I watched ANY of the movies.  I prefer to have my own pictures in my head of how the characters look before I see them on screen.  I read the books quite quickly and then saw all the movies.  The last one I went with Mepps and I waited in line to see the midnight premiere.  It was well worth it.  As a matter of fact I am going to see it again tomorrow night with my sister. 

I am sure that there are more things I could write about to update you on my life...but I guess that's all I can think of for right now.  I still have some things coming up this summer and soon it will be back to school.  Soon it will be time to navigate my way through the chaos of kindergarten while adding as much sparkle as possible.  When I think about all the new adventures that lie ahead of me I am excited and nervous all at the same time.  Some kind of big things are happening in my life...things that will eventually be a whole other blog post and that I am excited for you to read.  Basically I guess until then I am just trying to stick to the status quo! 

That's all for now.  I finally finished reading the Chronicles of Narnia books so I'm working on writing a review for them.  :)